reddit

The importance of doubt

I was banned from Reddit’s /r/asktransgender sub after making the following comment in response to a thread asking about regret:

“I ultimately found that transition didn’t actually cure dysphoria (except for temporarily) and just caused a bunch of other issues. I eventually transitioned back after 20 years. I still regret all of the lost time and what I did to my body, as I eventually learned I could have lived with a male body after all.”

Yes, that is right I was banned after stating that I regretted and had detransitioned in a thread about regrets! I do understand these issues can be sensitive and delicate and potentially triggering, but I surely thought it was okay to talk about regret in response to someone asking about regret!

I sent a note to the moderator and asked why I had been banned and received the following response:

“TERFs and folks from the detransitioning subreddit keep making throwaway accounts to come here and cause trouble. Trying to deride people and spread doubt about who they are and what they’re doing with their own lives.

Unfortunately, you fit that description to a T. To the point where I probably ought to message admin and see if we’ve banned you for these sorts of shenanigans before.”

I have no doubt there are people who do troll and try to disrupt the forum, this topic attracts a lot of vitriol. I also oppose deriding others, and have never derided anyone on this blog or on reddit. And I can understand the job of moderating this has to be a tough and thankless one. However, what I find troubling is the idea that people should not doubt. Hell yes, when making as big a decision as transitioning one should doubt! It makes me wonder what other voices are being silenced, and if there are people who never leave the bubble and seek multiple perspectives.

I will reiterate that I am not opposed to transition or hormones or other interventions. Each person must make that choice for themselves. It is clear that there are many people that have undergone these interventions and feel positively about them. What I am opposed to is the idea that it is the only way. There are plenty of people who have dysphoria and don’t transition, there are plenty of people who transition and still have dysphoria.

The idea that one shouldn’t doubt is a dangerous one and I worry when questioning, vulnerable people who pose questions are only presented with voices encouraging of transition, and other voices are silenced. The point of questioning is to question.

And please, if you are reading this do criticize my ideas. I’m sure there are things I am not right about. I have my own experience, plus my observations, plus I am well read on matters of psychology and the research, but I know my experience is not a universal one. One of the reasons I am writing this is to sort out what is more unique to me and what other people resonate with. Also, if you are reading this do read multiple perspectives on this issue, people that are happy with transition, long-term transitioners, short-term transitioners, cross dreamers and even folk that are gender critical all have something to contribute.