When I got to college, I thought my gender feelings were behind me. It only took a few months before they would reappear. I found myself struggling to make new friends, and again was having no luck dating beyond a brief fling with a woman I met during orientation. I also continued to feel some attraction for men and began to acknowledge that to myself. I began to read usenet groups such as soc.bi and started to consider myself bisexual. Then, one day I learned of a new Usenet group, alt.transgender, and I found there were people that had similar feelings towards me. Real people! Not just people I read about in books. I then found a listserv called TRANSGEN, and heard people echoing feelings that I had.
I was still living in the dorms and felt like I couldn’t explore going out as a woman. I was also in the middle of Texas making it extra-scary. However, the summer after my freshman year I ended up getting an apartment with a friend. My friend was coming out as gay so we had a certain kinship. Now I had a base away from the university to explore my gender. I remember being terrified the first time I went out as a woman and people stared at me, but it quickly got better. This was Texas where no one had much trans awareness outside of the LGBT community.
When sophomore year started, I wanted to proceed with transition. I made an appointment at the university counseling center to talk to a therapist. The grad student intern that I saw was very clearly freaked out by the situation, and in our next meeting referred me to a gender clinic and said he couldn’t help.
I went to visit the gender clinic and after just 2 meetings the psychologist I saw said I had was transgender and referred me for hormones. I visited the endocrinologist associated with the clinic as was given a prescription for hormones. I was excited for the future as I felt I could achieve my dream after all.