I haven’t wanted to write much the past few days. I am busy moving, and that is part of it. I also have been reflecting on the blog and why I write it. I felt burnt out after last week and did not want to write.

I have initially focused a lot on psychology and theory. I am glad to have written the things I have written, however much of the fruit of that seems to be to have provoked debates about psychology and theory. Discussing theory is good, but theory in and of itself is insufficient to produce growth. I fear that I may just be contributing to the incendiary discourse around these issues. There has been a lot of psychological writing on trans issues over the years, and I had read much of it during the time I identified and lived as a woman. It did not help me in any real way. Insight is also insufficient to produce change. I think particularly about reading Anne Lawrence’s book. She clearly has keen insight into her circumstances and what motivates her, however this insight does nothing to allow her to change them.

I do have a few more things to say about theory, but I think I need to focus more on personal stories and connection. This blog has not done as much as I would like in connecting with others and sharing our stories. By presenting a lot of theory, I have taken too much of an expert stance. I also need support around these issues, because detransitioning is difficult too. It is a lot like transitioning but there is no large support network around it, and the territory is much more unknown.

Also my journey is not really about gender at all, it was a very long, very slow recovery from narcissism. I was trapped in a hall of mirrors, looking for love in my own reflection, where it can never be found. The gender detransition is almost a side effect of letting go of that. I felt like I could not be myself and be loved and so constructed another identity. The ironic price of that is that it makes it impossible to experience true connection, because everything is filtered through this image. It was facing my own mortality, learning how to connect with others, discovering how to be part of a group, learning the true joy of service, and listening to my body that enabled me to let go of that identity. It was not any study of theory or psychological ideas that helped me. I think I would like to say more about that.

So I will think more about that, and what I want to say next, as I pack up and begin my move to my next adventures.


  1. My difficulty of detransitioning is my dependance on hrt every time I tried to reduce that, the obsession, the fetish, the porn, the anxiety, all comeback. What do you think some practical way to overcome this ?

    1. There are a few different things that might help. First, if the issue is that you don’t want to live as a woman, and you don’t want to be subject to compulsive sexuality, you can always remain on some kind of HRT and live as a man. You might be able to find a dose that is not too feminizing and still quells the urges. Anti-androgens are a standard treatment for sexual compulsions and fetishes.

      It is also possible that some other meds might help. There are cases in the literature of people stopping cross-dressing through the use of SSRIs and other drugs. Generally these are the first line medical treatment for other forms of compulsive sexuality/fetishes. (The second-line medical treatment is anti-androgens) The use of SSRIs simultaneously with ADD drugs has also been reported. Response to these drugs is highly individualized and there is no guarantee they would work. This would be something you’d have to work with a psychiatrist on, I am not a doctor.

      Practicing mindfulness and accepting the fantasies as fantasies could also reduce the level of distress. It is helpful for me to understand and accept that I have these fantasies, and neither resist them nor feed them. If the issue is that you feel unsafe/uncomfortable living as a man but still want to, that could point to some potential trauma issues to work on with a therapist.

      There is also what is known as the “good lives model” where living according to your values and stay connected to others reduces sexual compulsivity. Groups can help create community in this way.

      I can tell you my own progression if that is helpful, I faced additional challenges when I went on T, but the positive mood effects outweigh the negative.

      First I went off estrogen and that cleared my head, however I had fatigue and low energy. Then I went on T and initially felt great, but after a couple of months I had recurrent fantasies and the desire to live as a woman. I felt very conflicted. Then I did some therapy with EMDR and IFS to work on trauma related to living as a man (about 14 sessions). This eliminated the desire to live as a woman but not the fantasies which I still have. I am comfortable living as a man, but do still have erotic fantasies of feminization. The difference is they stay contained in my erotic fantasy life and it doesn’t feel desirable otherwise. They increase in response to anxiety and decrease when I feel engaged with the world.

      One time when I was really stressed they did develop an obsessive quality, I took a break from the T for a couple days and they stopped, then I went on a lower dose of T which seems sufficient for mood and energy and also doesn’t create sexual compulsion.

      It is a struggle anyway you slice it, this stuff is hard to deal with! Best of luck to you.

  2. What is EMDR and IFS, out of curiosity? Also, I feel the same way you do about the narcissism, I’ve described it as “the sexualized and emotive equivalent of two mirrors facing one another.” My journey is not exclusively about narcissism, or autogynephilia though. Gender and my negative reaction to it as a restrictive/abusive paradigm is a large part of this.

    Recently I’ve felt like I may be transitioning in order to detransition. I don’t see a problem with this. However, I do not see myself ever taking T, but who knows? Always good to leave oneself the option.

    I think my issues with narcissism, AGP, sex dysphoria, gender are all tied to one another. Living “as a man” is not something I will ever do, even if I ultimately end up de/re-transitioning. My intention is to break out of gender. This is a grandiose motivation, one which is no doubt motivated in part by narcissism, but someone’s gotta do it.

    There are a lack of role models. Other trans have told me to take care of myself first, and then others, to not martyr myself – but this situation is a paradox. Post-op sex dysphorics still feel dysphoria. This does not surprise me in the least…because we are in the position where we *can’t* help ourselves without changing the larger societal fabric. This is how I see it.

    Therefore my own well-being is intrinsically tied to the well-being of others. Speaking of well-being, I don’t know the first things about detransitioning, but I can be a good listener…if you want some random trans person who barely knows you to talk about random weird stuff, well, you should have my email from me posting here. Offer stands, just saying. Take care :).

    1. Hi Miriam,

      EMDR stands for eye movement and desentization therapy, it is a type of therapy for working with PTSD, IFS stands for Internal Family Systems which is another type of therapy that works with the psyche in terms of parts.

      Sorry for the brief reply, I would love to chat more and talk about all of this stuff, and give a more detailed reply. I’d particularly like to talk about he interrelation between narcissism, gender and sexuality. I am very busy with moving all this week, but the week following I would love to chat more.

  3. Don’t be too hard on yourself – you are trailblazing here and, as can be expected, there is no template to work off of. Tonight was the first time I was able to go through your entire site and read (or in some cases reread) each one. There is so much good stuff here. (I still need to make a second pass through to go through comments and explore links – they look good.)

    I totally get what you are saying about wanting your writing to reflect a balance between the personal and the theoretical. I am going through the same thing (I will also add “dogma” to the juggling act that I think you and I both pretty much both have to write about whether we like it or not!)

    Here’s the thing though – you have shared a hell of a lot of the personal. You have talked about some pretty intense stuff and gone into areas that not many people are comfortable going into (this commenter included!) And it was cool to keep having this feeling of “oh he felt that too – cool I am not the only one!” again and again.

    I also get why some of your pieces are so “theory heavy”. When you finally are able to talk about this stuff (and I know that you have been planning this blog for at least the last year) it is like a dam bursting. There is so much that you want to get out. (At least that is how I felt – although in my case I didn’t have any formal theories – just some hunches that I wanted to check out with others.)

    So now a lot of the stuff you have been thinking about is out there. In a way, that kind of gets you to the next stage. For one thing, you are getting feedback (I see that in the comments) … SOME of it is actually useful (those are the ones that usually don’t contain the word “TERF”) and you will get more. One of your most valuable critics though is going to be you. After stuff has been up there for a few weeks, months and eventually years you are going to go back and have a better sense of what is working and what isn’t. By reading these posts I know your quest is to get at the truth – even if it takes a few iterations and sorting through a dark closet full of way too many schemas (I guess my only advice is to hang on to anything purple!)

    Thank you for writing this blog. Reading it is healing for me.

  4. HI Joel. Fancy ‘meeting’ you here. No, I have no plans to ‘de-transition”, but like you, I find a huge amount of extremely valuable exploration of some very difficult issues which have been systematically banned from the open exchange of ideas and opinions. I look forward in sharing in your discussions and hope to have something of value to add.

    To ThirdWayTrans: As I expressed to Joel on his site,, I feel very badly for what I see as the wanton victimization and exploitation of your very personal needs, insecurities and confusion by an agenda that seems to stress or proclaim some universal “truths” and egalitarianism that just simply do not exist in todays world. I personally am frankly outraged and offended by the gross exploitation of what should be exceedingly private and personal medical matters, by a cabal of left-wing activists mindlessly, (or maybe even intentionally), latching onto whatever social issue might serve their extremely liberal and ‘progressive’ agenda….and the victims be damned. It almost reminds me of Hamas intentionally launching their rockets from schools and residential areas to increase civilian casualties.

    I apologize for the rant, but let me close by saying that I vey much admire and strongly applaud to efforts to bring to light the harm that is being done by this dangerous suppression of open debate on this very important subject. I can only hope and pray that your efforts will be supported by those willing to look beyond this ostensibly “all-inclusive”, but in reality, highly exclusive and oppressive, trans* agenda.
    Sally B.
    Extremely Happy, Long Time SRS Survivor

  5. I do like this blog. I much admire the thoughtfulness and the sensitively measured tone.

    I am not sure, though, that you are delivering your originally promised exposition of a ‘third way’, a positive alternative to transitioning that still merits the description ‘trans’. In your thoroughly liberal and non-hostile manner, you seem to be encouraging people to reject the validity of trans feelings, to interpret them as misleading delusions created by psychological trauma, to reconcile themselves to a cisidentity bolstered by healthy outgoing lifestyle.

    1. Hi Deborah,

      I’m not sure whether the alternatives to transition that I talk about should have the description trans or not. There is no question that the experience of gender dysphoria is a very real one and one that people have attempted to deal with in various ways, some by transitioning, and some by repression. When I say third way, what I mean to say that it is neither of those things.

      I don’t see feelings as being “valid or invalid”. Feelings are feelings. Feelings are signals and they are valuable. It is tricky, because it is not as simple as always blindly following your feelings, nor can you ignore them. There is a process of discernment as our feelings are a great ally, but also can lead us astray. It is hard to describe in words what I mean by that, but I have begun to learn the difference between what feels healthy for me and what does not, through the way it feels in my body. It is certainly not a perfect practice by any means.

      I did follow my gender feelings all the way through the process of hormones and surgery. What I found was that they were infinite and could never be satisfied. After SRS I still desired to change my body even more, and still hated the masculine aspects that remained. It was a need that could never be satisfied no matter how much my gender identity was validated. No matter how many people saw me as nothing but another woman, no matter how many people found me beautiful, the need could not be met. I was at war with my body, and the war could only be ended by unwinding what had happened.

      I think we all find the best solutions that we can in this process. I only want to say that more than one interpretation is possible and the interpretation that we live, has profound effects on our lives, and if we gain the capacity to choose the interpretation, then we can choose to transition or not. A transition that is chosen, is more powerful than one that is compelled I think.

      1. Thanks, Third Way, for your carefully considered answer. Thanks also to Joel for your additional comment. I certainly support both of you in your opposition to political censoriousness.

        Ultimately, though, I find this answer disappointing, in that it seems to confirm that you are not really offering the positive transgender alternative to transitioning that I had hoped you were.

        I suspect that you are predisposed to regard a ‘middle way’ as being inherently the wise way, causing you to construct schemas in which what you advocate appears in between two extremes. I don’t think what you depict as a second way – repression, not listening to feelings – is a credible way that any intelligent, sincere person would advocate.

        I agree that feelings, as feeling, cannot be invalid. Yet trans feelings do involve a perception of inner gender that can either be trusted or rejected, and further self-interpretation has to develop down either of these routes. You advocate rejection: a kind rejection that learns from what it rejects, but nevertheless a rejection, of what you regard as a delusion caused by psychological trauma.

        So I don’t think you are advocating a ‘thirdwaytrans’. You are advocating a compassionate, thoughtful repudiation of trans.

        1. I think there are quite a lot of people who advocate repression, there is a school of thought that in order to be a good person we must suppress our “base” animal instincts and live a life of purity. This is a philosophy you commonly find on the right wing.

          I’m curious what a third way would look like to you, if it is not what I am describing?

          1. I don’t regard the right-wing moral approach as a credible one.

            ‘Third way’ is not my term, but my notion of it would be an approach that respects trans, not just in the way that a doctor should respect their patients. One that appreciates that trans self-interpretations might well come from a sounder place than delusion caused by psychological trauma, while cautioning against transitioning.

            Your approach doesn’t seem new to me, just a particularly empathic take on the approach of professionals such as Blanchard, who regard trans as a disorder, for victims to be disabused of if at all possible.

            1. I don’t believe that influenced by trauma = delusion. Indeed all parts of the psyche have the intention to serve the best interest of the person. So, the transgender feelings are a valid part of the psyche that needs to be integrated with the whole, they are not delusion but part of the attempt of the organism to achieve wholeness.

              All parts of the psyche have a positive intention for the whole, but sometimes their strategies are not so good, as they may pertain to earlier environments and may be too extreme. Even the impulse to suicide can sometimes be a call to let go of a part of the conceptualized self that is causing immense suffering, which is then misinterpreted as a call for the death of the person as a whole.

              I agree my ideas are an extension of what has come before. I think Blanchard got a number of things right, it was his rigid division into two categories, combined with his instance that those that didn’t fit his data were lying that is a problem with his work. Even Blanchard supports transition as an appropriate response for some.

              1. I think it’s your belief that trans is misinterpretation that puts you on one side of a crucial fence, not really in the middle nor transcending the fence.

  6. Comment to Deborah: I think one of the reasons why TWT is important is that we need to be talking MUCH more about what triggers GD (in some people). I strongly believe that a lot of people who have been suffering from some form of mental illness move towards trans as a way of “masking” and distracting them from their pain, and also as a way of not having to confront some potentially very uncomfortable “root cause(s)”. Trans activisms has lobbied so that to speak of mental health and gender dysphoria in the same sentence is now considered “transphobic”. That is seriously wrong and it is something that I feel we need to start becoming ok with again. I think TW has presented some ideas of what might lead to a specific form of gender dysphoria. They are an entry point to a conversation that needs to happen. I haven’t had a chance to read the links to more about “erotic imprinting”. I will do that. I saw a comment somewhere that because TW quotes John Money (who got some things very very wrong) that any theory associated with that must be flawed. The truth is just because a researcher or scientist is wrong in some cases that does not mean that they are wrong in ALL cases. Even Einstein had some pretty major fails—but nobody talks too much about those because it is what he got right that ultimately matters to us moving forward.
    Comment to Sally: Hiya.
    Comment to TWT: Still looking forward to catching up sometime soon.

    1. I just want to put my two cents into the discussion about whether or not TWT does, indeed, offer a distinct and coherent third way to view trans-expereince. My sense is maybe and maybe not (yet). But, as Joel notes, some very important discussion is being initiated here and much of it has already been hugely helpful to me.

      So bully for you, TWT! Please keep up the work. Please keep on posting. Please keep giving all of us an opportunity to muddle our way down the middle together – a middle that is sorely, sorely, sorely under-acknowledged ‘out there’!

  7. This is very true, I keep ending up in consultation groups with other therapists that have clients that have severe abuse histories and other co-occurring disorders and it is considered transphobic to even think about the possibility that they are related to each other. We are supposed to bracket off the gender issues as being a separate thing unrelated to the rest of their mental health issues.

    I find maddening the idea that if I quote some researcher, then I am on “their side” and consider everything they say is true. Unfortunately this seems to be rampant in the discourse around these issues. All researchers are eventually proved to be wrong in some ways, that is the advance of science. I am sure I too am wrong in some ways, like everyone else.

  8. I do think dysphoria in autogynephiliacs can come from mental illness, but I think a far greater cause statistically is milder than mental illness – it’s a good old fashioned mid life crisis. I think many AGPs look back on their life at a certain point, see they were in a lot of denail about aspects of their character, and see that they are getting old and that their life isn’t what they want. The soloution to their future, their denial in the past and need for a fulfilling life, gets all channeled into this new project: transitioning. Transistioning is a form of rebirth and reinvention which is all good, but the reason why it can be pathological is because alot of it is based on delusion about what they will become ie… a cool, sexy, happy woman. The reality is often the opposite and there can be a lot of self harm plus harm to others along the way. I think therapy should focus on exploring how to make life more fulfilling, happy and positive – without having to ‘transition’.

    For me, personally, though, we can have all sorts of high convuleted discussions on the suitability of transitioning as a treatment for gender dysphoria, but for me it’s a simple issue. I’m against transitioing because medical science has not advanced enough to allow a succseful changing of sex. The treatment is flawed. In other words, what the transexual wants: to be a woman – is impossible – all they can get is a deeply unsatisfactory program of modifications called transitioning, which in many cases leaves the person looking neither like a man or a woman.

    In the future the whole transitioning debate will change when medical science gets better results. When a TS transitions and it is impossible to see he was previously a man then there will be no debate because we won’t have to think about all the pain and rejection and prejusice they will experience because they are clearly a transexual and not a woman. Only we will have to debate the effects on his family.

    Does anyone see what I mean? In other words, there is intrinsically no problem with changing to the other sex. The problem is that a good job can not be done of it and that’s why we are having these debates transition.


    1. Yes, the limitations of the process are a key part of the problem. There is the cosmetic incompleteness of the transformation, but even more of a problem for me was incomplete nature of the internal transformation. The endocrine system is very complex, and I found that by being on E some things did transform and other did not, resulting in a scrambled mess of male and female instincts.

      What drove me to therapy was not requisitioning my gender but dealing with relationship dysfunction. I found I was sexually attracted to men but could not bond with them, and had no passion when I dated women but felt romantically drawn to them. Like a good queer, I assumed the issue was that I had internalized some negative feelings about being with men due to my male socialization and homophobia and that if I got over those I would be able to form healthy relationships with men. All of my dating of men had a push me – pull you aspect where there would be part of me that wanted it and part of me that didn’t. Once I got on T things felt much more harmonious where my romantic and sexual attractions are both towards women.

      I do think things might have been different if a more complete transformation was possible, fixing the cosmetic limitations would not have been sufficient, a complete transformation of the endocrine system at the very least would be necessary. Socialization is also an issue. I think of the socialization issue as more like an immigrant experience, it is possible to assimilate to some degree, though one also maintains something of their original culture.

      And there definitely is a mid-life crisis aspect as well, this is true of my own retransition as well. It is natural to explore the unlived life at this phase and make changes. I do think my transition resembles a typical mid-life transition in many ways, the only thing that is unusual about it is that I did it in reverse order.

  9. Lots of good stuff in the above discussion. Let me start by addressing this issue of “feelings”, or more accurately our emotions. If I could, I would like to borrow from an analogy I came across by a fellow named Gurdjieff. He ascribes the nature of emotions to that of a horse, pulling a carriage, (our body), controlled by a driver, (our mind/intellect), transporting the owner of the carriage, (The Master).

    The Master represents our Will, and unless our Will, (the Master), knows exactly where he wants to go and clearly directs the driver, (our intellect), to go there, the driver could/would just wander about aimlessly with no fixed goal and the ultimate result would be a seriously displeased and hungry, driver, Master and horse. Worse yet, if the driver, (our mind) does not control the horse, (our emotions/feelings), the results could be even more catastrophic, with the horse potentially wandering down some blind canyon or ravine in search of food or water, dragging the carriage and Master along to perdition. My point here being that our intellect must exert some control over or feelings and/or emotions. But more importantly, our Will must know exactly where it is going and…how to get there.

    Now to this idea that this “third way”, IE: an alternative to “transition” or “repression”, must be, (for reasons that are a mystery to me), somehow, a “positive transgender alternative”….I think that this idea is extremely limiting in its scope and somehow postulating some “trans* friendly” outcome as though “trans*” were some sort of state, or state of being. “Trans” is an antonym. It is part or a word. It is a prefix denoting some for of “crossing over” or change.

    Trans- | Define Trans- at –

    a prefix occurring in loanwords from Latin ( transcend; transfix); on this model, used with the meanings “across,” “beyond,” “through,” “changing thoroughly,” …
    ‎Trans-african – ‎Trans-actinide element – ‎Trans-alaska pipeline – ‎Trans-activation

    And finally a note to Leky. I noticed your disclaimer that your comments represent just your own personal feeling, and as such, I expect that you understand that this being the case, these feelings that you have, about AGP and more specifically your feelings about the efficacy of HRT/SRS therapy, are just that: feelings. My guess is that these feelings are based on some relatively limited reading on the subject and your own particular mindset. While I can and will agree with you that these above mentioned protocols are not appropriate in treating all cases, (or even most cases) of gender dysphoria, I must point out that in a very limited number of cases, based on the strictest of criteria, these therapies result in resounding success.

    IMHO, it is the relaxation and consistent erosion of these criteria, (what you might call ‘gatekeeping’), that has resulted in the growing number of disappointed trans-people just now coming to the general public’s extremely limited awareness. I am reminded of Jay Leno’s “Man on the Street”, segments where 60-70% of the random people interviewed simply did not know how many Senators were on the US Senate. And these are the voters entrusted with the future of our country! ;-(

    1. I have read a little Gurdjieff, I agree that the intellect (or the pre-frontal cortex in neuroscience terms) must take some measure of control over the emotional parts of ourselves, but it is also simultaneously a servant of Gurdjeff called the Master, which I think is the same as what Crowley called the True Will, or what is Self in Buddhist thought and Jung.

      I think the gatekeeping in the past was also problematic because it was based on arbitrary criteria, however we have moved to no criteria. I’m not sure which is worse, but having researched criteria would help a lot!

  10. This “gatekeeping” is an interesting term. Where did it come from? Who “invented” it and applied it to “trans*” issues? I ask because never having experienced it personally, I have perhaps a totally different perception and interpretation. I am not sure if I have shared this with you on this blog, but when I sought out and obtained my SRS, the SOC’s were in their infancy and still being formulated.

    It is my opinion that these SOC’s evolved as a result of what I perceived then, as what I can only describe as a “Wild West” environment as surgeons around the world tried, and experimented with, techniques originated by Dr. Georges Burou in Morrocco. The resulting mayhem and subsequent lawsuits directed at major insurance companies and universities were the motivating force behind some kind of assurances being provided that these significant life altering surgeries were not being performed “willy-nilly”, and that the subjects of said surgeries had a reasonable expectation of the limitations involved and of attaining their (hopefully), well considered goal of actually “changing their sex”.
    It became customary to require some kind of counseling to eliminate any false expectations and make clear to the patient that even if the surgical alterations to their genitals were 110% successful, they would still be, and would forever be, ‘genetically’ male. I would be forever sterile and the possibility of orgasm was not known. This was an experimental surgery to be tried only when all else had failed to ameliorate only the most severe cases of dysphoria. That was how it was explained to me more that 40 years ago, and that was the reality that I was willing to accept. Is this the “arbitrary gatekeeping” that you were referring to? That approach seems a far cry from the “gender therapy” available today which seems to focus on…I am not really sure…..

    I don’t know why anybody that could not integrate socially, (IE disappear into society), would want to undergo such an expensive and risky operation, putting their future, their livelihood and their family’s well being at risk. Could it be that people today prefer to hand the responsibility of such a momentous “decision” over to some freshly minted Ph.D. or self proclaimed “specialist”?

  11. I remembered this post of yours, particularly where you said this:

    “I felt like I could not be myself and be loved and so constructed another identity. The ironic price of that is that it makes it impossible to experience true connection…”

    For some reason, to me, it feels connected with something you mentioned in a tumblr post (apologies for pulling things out of context – I’m new to tumblr and haven’t quite figured out yet how to draw these things all together) where you said this:

    “I also have enough discernment to know that these [AGP] fantasies are not my true embodied sexuality, because they only happen when I am alone and anxious…”

    These things really echo some very longstanding aspects of my experience that still trouble me. I’m in my 40s now and I still don’t feel sure of, in your words, ‘my true embodied sexuality’, or if I even have one! I’m a part time male cross dresser, to whom transition never really felt like an option because my physical frame is almost hyper-masculine. My moments of deepest connection have come while cross dressed, with men. Sex in relationships with men and women (i.e. without cross dressing) never really measures up. The connection always feels a bit partial by comparison.

    What you say about fantasies that occur when you’re “alone and anxious” rings very true to me, but I read the rest of your posts and wonder how you can be so sure that you had “constructed another identity.” In my life, there seem to be so many contradictory bits of evidence, I’m left not knowing how to know what’s real, if you see what I mean!

    1. I think I have written elsewhere that I don’t really consider identities to be “real or fake”, I may have worded things that way in the past clumsily. However, they can be more or less useful, and more or less connected to the body. My identity was almost complete disconnected from my body, which makes it difficult to feel things like connection or other organic impulses. It also requires constant energy to maintain and maintaining it was a higher priority than other needs. That was source of the distress.

      I think one of the keys for me was to stop worrying about what was real or not, and focus on fulfillment, particularly connection with others and work in the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s