My last post made me realize I did something I want to avoid, which is to get into the ongoing fight between radical feminists and trans activists. That is not really my goal for the blog. In fact one of the reasons I do this is so that there is someone other than radical feminists or religious conservatives talking about some alternative ideas around this issue!
I am no radical feminist, I am unabashedly pro-male for one thing (and pro-female too!) One of the things I had to get over in my retransitioning was a distorted view of men as being evil. Being around several kind, compassionate, and gentle men helped with that. I do however, agree with the radical feminists, that people should be free from a mandatory class system around gender. Retransitioning is certainly not about becoming a stereotypical man! I work in a female-dominated field in psychology, I like to cook and even bake, I do a lot of dance, and my favorite color is purple. I don’t have to be a woman to do any of those things! I just no longer have to use my voice in affected ways, or wear clothes that aren’t built for my body, or move in unnatural ways, or suffer poor health effects from hormones that don’t belong in my body.
When I was contemplating retransitioning, I had people assume my current state of thinking on my gender based on what clothes I was wearing. This was nutty, as if I was feeling more male because I was wearing black or more female because I was wearing purple!
Neither am I a religious conservative. I have no moral or ethical issues with transitioning. I just think it frequently does more harm than good, and is not the only response to gender/sex dysphoria. I see transitioning as the most drastic possible response to dysphoria, and therefore not the one that should be attempted first. It is a general principle of medicine that we try the least invasive treatments first. Full gender transition is the equivalent of high-powered chemo for this issue. Still it can be right for some, also the alternatives aren’t completely documented and known. I am hoping to help with this issue.
I have a few different goals for the blog. One is to tell my story to get it out there. Another is to share the map I have gained as a result of my journey back home in the hope it is helpful to others. A third is to give and receive support particularly to retransitioners and people that are contemplating retransition. This can be an even lonelier journey than the first one! Also, I hope to help those that are contemplating transition to have an alternate perspective. I think there might be a surge of retansitioners (and it may be already starting) as the ramifications of the surge of transitioning in the last five years start coming to the surface.
I also hope to work with the psychological community as I feel like my experience exposed some holes in the idea of gender identity. I thought I had to transition because I had an immutable gender identity and this turned out to be untrue, having that idea in my head made it a lot harder to get out of it. I see a lot of people blindly encouraging and supporting transition both in the queer community and the therapeutic community and I don’t think this is good. I feel that my transition did tremendous harm to my life, and there is definitely a part of me that is angry about it.
So I’m trying to write to a lot of different audiences at once, but I want the blog to be more for general audiences. I’m also contemplating writing a book, or an academic paper or doing some research on this topic. I’m not sure how I’m going to do that yet.
Are there any suggestions of what you might like to see more/less of?